Know Nuthin'

Many people believe that the stupidity of government knows no bounds. The WayneWho staff believes that government is not inherently stupid, but that a sense of moronic ignorance overtakes elected officials once they take office because of a constant tug-of-war between the different mentalities of the public and private sectors. Of course at last weeks City of Kissimmee Commission meeting, our beliefs were stretched thin as the Commission attempted to debate a new 'Security Tax' ordinance that seems to do more to discourage citizens and businesses from protecting life and property than it does to promote it. What we found most interesting about the meeting was the commission and the staff's complete ignorance on the particulars of this ordinance when a citizen/business owner began asking questions.

Before we continue on with the questions that were asked we would like to point out one simple fact. The Dallas based company that has already been hired by the commission, which it seems they were unaware of, made these recommendations to improve their ability to collect fines imposed by the current ordinance. A 'salesperson' from the company then devised a plan that would increase the amount they could bill, and city staff fell right in line, quickly creating an ordinance that would charge all owners of security systems excessive fees whether or not they had ever had a false alarm call. The staff and the commission were excited about this new revenue stream because their cut would go straight to their general fund for use on pet projects like round-about fountains, government subsidized farmers markets, and kick-backs to non-profit organizations that may or not may be in the public interest. We are unaware, at this time, of how much money the city will make as the 'Security Tax' collection agency sells the personal data it collects to telemarketers or whomever might have an interest in such information because the original ordinance was written so badly, and the ordinance that has passed its first reading was left so full of holes, that it is just not clear. Originally we would have assumed the commission or staff would have had a slight grip on the ordinance they were attempting to pass, but as we continued to watch we were proven wrong.

A single citizen was allowed to speak on the issues surrounding this ordinance which, the commission realized right away, was a mistake. To the citizens questions, the commission responded with dumbfounded "ahh... we aren't really sure", "we don't have answers to that", and the occasionally gurgling noises that at least let the viewing audience know they were somewhat conscious, but unfortunately their Commander, Christopher Pike retorts left little clarity in the minds of anyone watching in the audience. To be fair to the citizen, we would note that the questions that were asked were very simple and were not as difficult as some on the commission would lead you to believe. Questions like, "Would the fees have to be paid if my alarm system does not automatically call the police?", "If a fee has to be charged, why is there a difference between commercial and residential security systems?," and "Commissioner Otero, being a staunch Ronald Reagan Republican, how is it you can be for more government and higher taxes especially on businesses in an economy that is this bad?" Beep once for yes, twice for no.

Of course after the commission discussed all of the problems with the ordinance and ignored the citizens questions, the motion was made to pass the first reading of the ordinance so it could be completely modified before the second, and final, reading. This even though a motion had already been made to postpone the first reading of the ordinance until it could be fixed. So much for procedure.

Beep... Beep...