FunkyTown

It seems that in these dire economic times, the Kissimmee Community Redevelopment Agency (CRA) has adopted new lighting guidelines to help alleviate the problems created by its restrictive design standards policies. The WayneWho staff was out in the jaywalking infested Broadway area over the weekend when we noticed the addition of historic 'rope lighting' to some of the structures in the downtown. Nothing says 'class' like rope lights.

While we do not fault any business trying to find ways to operate in the strangle-hold of regulations in the CRA controlled areas of downtown, we would have hoped for something that did not make the downtown look like an 80's roller skating rink. While we know that the goal of the CRA is to recreate the metaphorical place described by the band Lipps Inc. in their hit song "FunkyTown" as a place that keeps "me movin', keeps me groovin' with some energy," we doubt that rope lighting is the answer. Of course none of the WayneWho staff has to deal with over-zealous and harassing code enforcement 'officers' who have taken on the roll of CRA toadies, so we find it hard to call foul on those who have figured out a way to 'funk up' downtown in an effort to bring some business through their doors. We are surprised that CRA toadies have not forced the businesses to take down the lights as of yet, but we assume that they, like their school board counterparts, miss the days of lighted-floor dance-offs and whisper to themselves ever so quietly, "Won't you take me to --- FunkyTown."

While the WayneWho staff thinks the new look for downtown is somewhat tacky, we have to salute the businesses who continue to struggle against a bad economy and the efforts of local government to shut down the whole area. We just hope they are not burning the rope lights at both ends.