Building A Better Fee

In an effort to stave off the onslaught of tax relief attempts by the State of Florida legislature and Governor Charlie Crist, the City of Kissimmee has put the finishing touches on a new 'fee' that will ensure economic stability for the city government for years to come. While other 'fees' and taxes have generated negative responses from those forced to pay them, this new 'fee' promises to upset only a small but growing segment of our local community.

The new 'fee', originally dubbed the "Homeless Impact Fee" which will be renamed before the final vote, is designed to address the added impact and long term cost that the homeless community creates. "The homeless are an inevitable result of our current predatory growth practices that have fortunately prevailed in our community for the past several years," noted one high level official who spoke on the condition of anonymity. "The homeless are a vitally important and an integral part of our society because they serve as an example to the rest of society what happens when you fail to embrace benevolent government policies." Government officials acknowledge that the expense created by working to maintain the current homeless populations to be an example for others has increased rapidly over the past several years. The new 'fee' that will be charged to those who are homeless, are about to become homeless, or who benefit from panhandling will help to offset this expense. "We believe that this 'fee' will serve as a model for other communities to enact to help maintain their own homeless populations."

Building a better fee is not always as easy as it looks some administration officials have acknowledge. Some organizations were outraged by the name of the ordinance and demanded that the word "homeless" be changed to a term that bestowed dignity instead of dread. A consultant for the homeless made the simple claim that "Just because someone lacks a roof over their head does not mean they deserve the title 'homeless.' Being at home is a state of mind and who are we to judge who is or isn't homed in their own mind." Other terms that have been discussed for the ordinance are undwelled, unhomed, shelter challenged, and the perpetually out-of-doors. Right now, it seems that many are leaning towards the term undwelled or "Undwelled Impact Fee", which also seems to work for the new "Undwelled Bathing Station" that will be under construction very shortly.