Fountain Follies

The WayneWho staff was out in the downtown over the past couple of days to do our part as 'Jaywalking Watchdogs' in an effort to help the Kissimmee Police Department in their efforts to curb the heinous crime of jaywalking that has been holding our community under siege when we noticed something even more insidious. Fountains shooting bubbles had returned to downtown. At first we thought that the bubbles blowing onto Broadway from the new sidewalk fountain at City Center was another ploy by either the TDC or the Kissimmee Main Street social club to bring 'visitors', not shoppers, into the downtown. They had already tried this with the 'Sculpture Walk' which is also commonly called the Downtown Kissimmee Sidewalk Obstacle Course, but we soon realized that the pretty bubbles were the act of skateboarding insurgents bent on the destruction of private and public property.

It seems that the 'Sculpture Walk', two story parking garage, and the abandoned Toho parking lot stage are just too much of a draw for the hooligans who have vowed to take over the area. As the few remaining shoppers, who risk being covered with bubbles or being side-swiped by hoards of skateboarders, look for help from local law enforcement, officials have only released a statement stating that since the skateboarders have not committed any jaywalking offenses, they are not on the priority list of enforcement officials or commissioners.

This whole un-news article got us thinking about the dwelling challenged bathing facility that was supposed to be built in the round-a-bout on Martin Luther King Boulevard. The 'fountain' which was approved over a year ago with money set aside from the transportation budget seems to be missing. The money is still allocated for its construction but after a year there is still no 'fountain'. Did the bubbles scare local officials into rethinking their 'foutain' stance, or is there something else? Considering every local government is hoping for federal bail-out money we wonder if the commissioners have decided that a homeless bathing facility might be a bit excessive in such bad economic times. Maybe one of the commissioners getting ready to run for re-election can bring up the re-allocation of the 'fountain' dollars into more worthy transportation needs instead of hoarding taxpayers money for pet projects. Just a thought from your local un-news source.