In an effort to find an alternate source of money that can be used in the city's never ending quest to become an All-America City pageant winner, the City of Kissimmee is rolling out its new awareness funding scheme. The City has decided to launch a "KissimmeeStong" campaign to not only raise the needed money to compete and enjoy a few days at Busch Gardens in Tampa, Florida, but to also raise awareness about the critical issues facing our beloved community. "We were just surfing the net and we saw these bands, and we were like, yeah, you know, we can do that," stated a source that did not want to be identified.
Initial reports indicate that the "KissimmeeStrong" pageant award ReminderBands will be available in the color of "Stunned Orange" with embossed lettering that will reflect the "KissimmeeStrong" message. "It's all for a good cause," reflected one high level official. "We figure that if nobody buys them, we can just pass an ordinance that mandates citizens to wear them. This way we make money on the bands, and even more money on the enforcement fines if you are busted not wearing one. It's perfect because it's not a tax, or a fee, and they can't say sh** about it."
Other ideas have been tossed around the city after the successful deployment of the "KissimmeeStrong" bands for other causes and reminders that could be used to generate income. One of the ideas that insiders gave the WayneWho staff a sneak peak at was the "Fire Fee Payment Day" ReminderBand. Sunset Sage with yellow wording make this ReminderBand a real keeper and a late fee saver.
Initial reports indicate that the "KissimmeeStrong" pageant award ReminderBands will be available in the color of "Stunned Orange" with embossed lettering that will reflect the "KissimmeeStrong" message. "It's all for a good cause," reflected one high level official. "We figure that if nobody buys them, we can just pass an ordinance that mandates citizens to wear them. This way we make money on the bands, and even more money on the enforcement fines if you are busted not wearing one. It's perfect because it's not a tax, or a fee, and they can't say sh** about it."
Other ideas have been tossed around the city after the successful deployment of the "KissimmeeStrong" bands for other causes and reminders that could be used to generate income. One of the ideas that insiders gave the WayneWho staff a sneak peak at was the "Fire Fee Payment Day" ReminderBand. Sunset Sage with yellow wording make this ReminderBand a real keeper and a late fee saver.
14 comments:
That is not a bad idea. I know this is just supposed to be a joke, but it is not that bad of an idea. You could raise community awarness (hence what the bands are for) while raising money for this plaque.
At least when you give them money for this you get a band to wear. Normally we just pay and get nothing back.
I suggest Fountain Strong...
This is bull. You are just making this stuff up again. The city has not purchased bands of any kind to pay for our attempt all All-American City. Stop posting these lies on the internet!
There other favorite motto could be used for the bands: TaxStrong
I like the idea... It is a cool way to show community pride, and the proceeds could pay for this competition thing you are talking about. I would rather see the money go towards the homeless in our area, but that is just my opinion.
What kind of tax or fee are they going to have to charge us to manage this jewelry program?
No reminder bands have been ordered. No one would be dumb enough to do this! You are just spreading lies again!
Well Amanda? It this true of not?
I WOULD BE REMISS IF I DIDN'T POINT OUT THAT YOU ARE VERY ADEPT AT TONGUE IN CHEEK HUMOR. ITS A SHAME OTHERS CAN'T BUY INTO THE LUNACY OF THE SPENDING FOOLISHLY DURING A SUPPOSED BUDGET CRUNCH. I CAN'T WAIT FOR GUETZLOE TO SPEAK ON IT. ISN'T THE DEFINITION OF "FEE" A ONE TIME CHARGE? A "TAX" IS CONTINUING CHARGES TO THE CITIZEN. LET'S SEE WHAT WE HAVE: A FOUNTAIN (BATHING AREA), AND A TRIP TO A LOSING SITUATION. WAY TO GO GEMSKIE AND VANMETER.
Maybe we can bring back Beanie Babies and have a special All-American Beanie Baby that we sell to raise funds. Nah... to much work just use the tax (fee) money to pay for the Tampa-Bush Gardens junket.
We could have a Vanmeter beanie baby. It could be called the Jeanie Beanie. But we have to be sure and include the pompoms.
Is all of this over a plaque? Well what the heck...I'll buy one at no cost to the City. What does a plaque go for? $30, $40 bucks? In-fact I'll name the award " All Universe City Award", install it at the fountain or at City Hall and that should do it. Problem solved. Next! I think I could get used to solving the problems of our community.
Where can we order these bands? Are they in the shops downtown?
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