Planned Parenthood for Pigs

The City of Kissimmee Commission entered uncharted territory at this past week's commission meeting. As we had mentioned in a previous article, the city was working a way to again erode the rights of citizens by limiting the numbers of specific types of pets that a resident may legally own. The city already has an ordinance that limits the number of overall pets you may own to five, but when it comes to pets of the pot-bellied pig persuasion, one is enough according to the commission. And all of this discussion while buildings continue to crumble on Vine Street.

Ignoring the logical and reasonable arguments brought forward by the pro-pig advocates, the commission decided to move forward with the limiting ordinance. Before its final passage, Commissioner Grieb decided to expand the role of government, and possibly government itself, by adding into the ordinance a "Planned Parenthood for Pigs" amendment. Not only will owners of single pot-bellied pigs be forced to have them spayed or neutered, but the porcine parental hopefuls will have to under go counseling to make sure they understand the rigors of pig parenthood. This will hopefully open the doors to the free veterinary clinic to handle the huge herds of pot-bellied pigs (some that are now adding to the gang violence in our area) that have surged in recent years in our community, but as with any government function we will now have to listen to elected officials whine about how they cannot afford any of this because of the stupidity of the voters in passing Amendment 1. Until then, just remember that makin' bacon leads to increased responsibility.