Capital Budgetmania 2009

Make sure you tune in tonight or set your Tivo up to record a Budget Battle Royal like never before. Tonight on the city's own Pay-Per-Resident channel, legends of the capital budget world will face off in matches the fans never thought possible. Titans of the tax expenditure arena will fight to the death in this once-in-a-lifetime no-holds-barred contest for your tax money. Strap in viewers, it is going to be a long and bloody night.

The night will start with an explosive match between the tag team darlings of the commission, the stealthy Public Information Office and the High Tech Access Osceola combination vs. the Cyclopean Civic Center. The often publicly whipped Civic Center will leave it all out on the mat as they work to crush the high tech funding of the rarely seen TV station team. Tempers will flare as the Civic Center team puts forward the one piece of fact that will make the TV Station team quiver in fear, "How many residents are you actually serving and what kind of revenue do you generate, because we have a computer that tracks every dime and every person that walks through our door?" Ouch, that's gotta hurt. Don't miss it!

Another match that you won't want to miss will be the fledgling city staff team vs. the gargantuan KUA Killers. The KUA team is looking to keep its revenues to dole out more management pay raises and special events' funding instead of providing cost effective power to our local governments and our residents. The KUA Killers have left the carnage of their opponents on the mats at the county and the school board, and now their greedy sights are set on the staff at the City of Kissimmee. Even though the city technically owns KUA, the public-private utility upper management knows the more of the staff they can take out at the city, the bigger their bonus checks will be. Boom Baby! This will be a night you won't soon forget.

As City of Kissimmee Commissioner Art Ortero would say live and on the air, "Let's Get Ready To Rumble!"