With the possibility of losing more tax revenues because of the State of Florida's efforts to control out of control tax and spend policies of local governments, the City of Kissimmee is taking an innovative measure to protect their funding. Over the next several days, several departments will shut down for the Thanksgiving Holiday Season and re-open as a Butterball Turkey Hotline call center. The entire Public Information Office and some of the Parks and Recreation Departments have finished their "Turkey U" training and are ready to answer questions from the poultry challenged. "I don't think this will be too hard considering we are used to commissioners talking turkey all of the time," noted one employee who did not want to be identified. "Have you heard some of the questions they ask? I can handle some questions on cooking a turkey."The Butterball Corporation is very excited at the prospect of working with not only the City of Kissimmee, but other municipalities as well. "We believe this will be a profitable win-win arrangement," noted a Butterball Turkey Talk hotline representative. "The infrastructure and technology are already in place, and we believe that it is possible to train the staff on the basics of Turkey preparations. They ain't going to be no Martha Stewart, but they should be able to handle the basics."
The original plan was to have City Commissioners help work the Turkey Talk hotline, but then it was discovered they had a hard time reading from prepared scripts, so the idea was quickly modified to involve the City staff. "I will be a cheerleader for the Turkey Talkers," noted one commissioner while another noted an affinity for the mystical Turducken holiday favorite.
It appears that for now, the City funding crisis has been averted. Gobble... Gobble...
6 comments:
Wonder who the cheerleader is? Happy Birthday anyone?
I hope the new responsibilities of the PIO don't mess up the next Kissimmee FYI when they are going to discuss the proper cooking methods of the yam.
WOW!! JUST A FEW HOURS AGO, ARMANDO "NEVER FOUND A POSITION I DIDN'T WANT" RAMIREZ, PULLED PAPERWORK TO RUN FOR DIST 3 COUNTY COMMISSION!! INCREDIBLE..ISN'T THIS LIKE BEULAH RUNNING AND RUNNING AND RUNNING AND NEVER REALIZING SHE WILL NEVER GET ELECTED? AMAZING. WELL THAT MEANS HE SPLITS VOTES, GOES ON THE ATTACK ON ANYONE EXCEPT A PUERTO RICAN, WATCH IT TONY (ANGLO) AND CARLOS (AMERICAN FROM COSTA RICO). I HONESTLY BELIEVE HE THINKS HE CAN WIN. FIRST OF ALL, HE CAN'T. SECOND; HE OFFERS NOTHING! HE HAS NOT PROVEN HIMSELF, VOLUNTEERED ON BOARDS OR DONE ANYTHING EXCEPT SUE OSCEOLA COUNTY. HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND ISSUES AND PROVIDES NO IMPROVEMENTS TO FIX WHAT PROBLEMS HE MUDDLES THROUGH. OH WELL. LET THE VOTERS SPEAK. THEY CAN ELECT JEANNE "I LOVE TAXES AND FOUNTAINS" VAN METER, BUT SOMEONE WILL HAVE TO MAKE SURE SHE CAN WADE THRU A 1,0000 PAGE BUDGET AND 400 PAGE AGENDA (W/OUT GOING TO SLEEP). HAS SHE EVER BEEN TO POINCIANA? DOES SHE KNOW WHERE THE "BAD" NEIGHBORHOODS ARE? SHE NEVER WENT TO THE CIRCLE. HELL.......SHE NEVER WENT TO THAT SIDE OF TOWN PERIOD. BUT SHE WANTS TO REPRESENT OSCEOLA COUNTY DIST 3?? SO FAR YOU HAVE A WELL SPEAKING, BUT NOT PROVEN CANDIDATE IN CAYASSO AND YOU HAVE FERENTINOS, A BOARD MEMBER (EXECUTIVE) OF SENIOR RESOURCE ALLIANCE, WHO PROVIDES SOLUTIONS TO EVERY PROBLEM HE DISCUSSES. EASY ONE. FERENTINOS FOR COUNTY COMMISH!!
Planes, Trains & Automobiles... I love that movie.
Where is your other hand?
Between two pillows.
Those aren't pillows.
I feel as frustrated as Steve Martin during the car rental scene when I watch the commission meetings on TV. On so many issues, they just don't seem to understand what they are talking about, but then the vote to approve it anyway. Frustrating.
Eating turducken is like eating Frankenstien... It just ain't natural.
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